indefinitely

RIP to my bff aka my ipod.  I've had him for 3 years now and it stopped working.  I did an 8 mile run today and it was the worst feeling not having music blasting in my ears.  I've been running since 2005 and this is the first time I've gone sans music.  Even back then I would carry around those stupid disc mans that would always skip and only play tracks 1-6.  Still, the sound of my heavy breathing was really bothering me with nothing to block it out.  The sounds of breathing has always bothered me to an unreasonable degree.  When I shared a room with my sister growing up I would get so angry/frustrated if I could hear her breathing.  Also there was that time I walked home 1.5 miles at 3 am because I couldn't stand sleeping in the same bed with this guy who was a heavy breather.  Not even sure it was heavy, I am just way too sensitive to all breathing.

So for 8 miles that was pissing me the fuck off.  Also I could finally hear all the snarky comments from passersby.  I always imagined I was invisible to them because they were blocked out from my world with the help of my bff ipod, but apparently they do see me and feel the need to act like pieces of shit at my expense.  I actually managed to ignore the first few, but when the last one came at me with an asshole comment followed by 'sweetheart', I wanted to beat the everliving shit out of him.  It reminded me of jr. high when kids would say something horrendously mean only to follow it with 'buddy' just to add that condescending touch to it.  I hope the ipod I won on ebay gets here soon, and is in working condition.  I swear if that ebay douchebag swindles me I will send nothing but bad thoughts and anthrax to Dearborn, Michigan.  

When I get really into a song I tend to overexpose myself to it by playing it over and over again while neglecting every other song on my playlist.  This only lasts 2 weeks to a month and I never want to listen to it ever again, or maybe again in a couple of years for nostalgia purposes.  I think I have the same problem with people.  I get tunnel vision and can only see/hear/touch/taste/smell this one person whereas no one else actually matters; I won't even humor the possibility of another person even having a smidgen of a presence in my life while the other person is still in full blown effect.

 Every time I write in this blog and read it back to myself I can't help but wonder what in the fuck is wrong with me? 

I can't even handle heavy breathing.